Are You Nuts?

Are You Nuts?
“The madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason.” 
G.K. Chesterton 
In these troubled times, it is easy to see others as mentally unfit because the crazy things they do. No one in his right mind would do those crazy things! Nuts, crazy, insane, mad, bonkers, plum loco, out of your mind, mentally ill.. Do they all mean the same thing? Not a clinical diagnosis, rather an expression that they would not do those things if they were okay. But how objective is a label of crazy?
It is generally accepted that those who are in good mental health will respond rationally to situations, and the benchmark for rationality is enlightened self interest. If someone is observed hitting himself on the head with a hammer, that person must be crazy because it is difficult to see how hammer blows to the head are in anyone’s self interest. The humane thing to do would be to take the hammer away because hammer blows to the head are no help. But what if they were? It would be crazy to take the hammer away. Okay, that’s not too likely, but most examples of “crazy” are not so clearly cut.
Before the Renaissance, or “rebirth” of civilization after the Dark Ages (when learning was the exclusive province of colored people), it was commonly believed in Europe that Earth was flat, and the center of the universe. Amazingly complicated models were devised to prove how observed cosmological events occurred in a geocentric universe. Those who did question the flat Earth theory, despite the findings of Greek acedemics two millenia previously, were tortured until they confessed, then burned at the stake by God fearing monomaniacal religionists. It would be crazy in 1400 CE to say Earth was round!
Today however it is commonly held that Earth is a spheroid, and photographic evidence tends to support that theory. The heliocentric model of the solar system explains celestial motion much more cogently, and simply than the complex and arcane geocentric theory. It would be crazy to assert today that Earth is flat, or that Sun circles Earth. 
The most discussed case of world craziness is Adolph Hitler. Given the expansion of democracy and rule of law during the twentieth century, it was crazy to simply round up people indiscriminately and murder them wholesale. Ipso facto, Hitler was insane. But wait a minute.. He was charismatic, brilliant, a serious student of history, compelling orator, prolific writer and master planner, worshipped by millions, obeyed by sensible, stand up regulars who stood to lose everything if they were mistaken. Germans in the Third Reich would be crazy to disobey Hitler, because the likelihood they would be arrested, tortured and murdered by the Gestapo. Who is so crazy today?
Adolph Hitler was steeped in the European tradition of anti semitism which for hundreds of years taught that Jews are evil, the source of social unrest, not fully human. Because their low status in Medieval society, Jews were relegated to handling money, the “filthy lucre” which would soil the hands of the aristocracy, prepositioning certain Jews to control global finance with the emergence of the nation/state. It was within that context the paperhanger recognized the hand of the “Jewish banking conspiracy” behind slavery and suffering of masses of people. From an historical perspective, it is crazy to think that Jewishness is enough to make anyone a conspirator. But if, as Hitler believed, that WERE true, it would be eminently rational to attempt to eliminate all Jews as a precondition for a Thousand Year Reich of peace and prosperity under the umbrella of Aryan mastery. It is tragic that Hitler could not differentiate between conspirators and all Jews, but with what he knew, he was acting in the best interests of his people. Is that really crazy?
9/11 changed everything. Horrified New Yorkers and people around the world watched transfixed as pathetic victims plummeted and buildings crumbled. Though unable to defend America against attack, the W administration by the end of the day had identified Arabs as the perpetrators while morsels of their remains still smoldered. Aroused by outrage, the American public was moved to wreak righteous retribution upon the madmen who had murdered thousands, and in the persons of their representatives, practically unanimously agreed to short circuit the Constitution and hand the pResident unlimited war powers, though without taking the time to read through proposed legislation, or discuss it at any length. If, as Americans are told, Arabs hate American freedom so much they are willing to kill themselves to attack the U.S., it is entirely rational to wage war against Arabs, including women and children in their homes in Kabul, Baghdad, Ramallah, Beirut, and soon Damascus, and Tehran (they aren’t Arabs? What the hay! Close enough!) in order to extend and perpetuate Pax Americana into the future.
But what if it wasn’t Arabs? There are so many inconsistencies, ambiguities and impossibilities evident in the event, that an immediate finding of Arab hijackers as culprits may be premature. Why couldn’t the greatest military the world has ever known stop the jets? Why didn’t the secret service scramble the commander in chief at Booker Elementary? Why did WTC 7, not struck by aircraft, collapse later in the day? are pertinent questions about 9/11 that are glaringly unanswered, and remain today largely unaddressed.
What if it was all a theatrical production, with the role of perpetrators played by Arabs who thought something else was going on? What if there were no Arabs at all (the only proof being accusations originating from the White House)? What if the true planners and executors of 9/11 were not Arabs, but highly respected top ranking officials of the U.S. government forwarding an undisclosed agenda of global domination by the corporate elite? In THAT case it would be crazy to start attacking Arabs, Islamists, Easterners, dark skinned people, foreigners, because if they didn’t already hate America, they sure do now!
People have always sickened and died. Not everyone is adequately endowed with health in a contagious world and tragedy has always stalked those who aren’t. Toward the end of the twentieth century a new plague was identified – AIDS. Though understanding of microbial infection was still in its first century historically, it seemed probable that a virus was causing the otherwise unexplained wasting deaths of homosexuals, Haitiens and drug users. No such virus has been isolated and identified, but postulated based upon circumstantial evidence, named HIV, and announced to the world as the cause of AIDS. Given understanding of infectious disease vectors, and the supposition that sexual activity would spread the new plague to everyone eventually, it would be crazy not to fund research into isolating the virus and developing a cure. Meanwhile, it also would be crazy to have sex with anyone who might harbor the virus, or even sit in a classroom or shake hands with someone who might be infected.
What if that didn’t matter? What if there were no HIV? What if HIV were a myth deployed to distract people from mounting evidence that toxic lifestyles cause immune system breakdown? In that case it would be crazy to continue to use electric devices, cars, cosmetics, chemical medicines and a plethora of products intended to make life more fun, and incidentally provide shareholders with more wealth. As with 9/11, the evidence about AIDS is inconclusive, and the official explanation is Byzantine in complexity. Why do many AIDS patients test negative for HIV? Why do so many HIV positives lead healthy lives until they take “life saving” AIDS drugs? Why are accredited researchers who question HIV=AIDS defunded, harassed and threatened with so much vehemence? If there is no HIV, and AIDS is the result of poisoning, it would be as crazy to spend billions on the red herring of viral research as it would be to stop having sex.
Conspiracy theories are the latest craze. Anyone who doesn’t like the way things are pastes together some cockamamie theory that secret forces make bad things happen, to alleviate the depression of being a loser. It’s a dog eat dog world Bub, but it’s all above board. You have to sink or swim, but everyone is in the same boat. You don’t work, you don’t eat. Nothing is as certain as death and taxes. You have no one but yourself to blame for trouble if you don’t follow orders. To rulers, order means no running, no shouting, everyone in his place doing his job, not disrupting others with urban myths about conspiracies that don’t exist. The mere mention of suspicion that all is not as advertised is enough to ruin anyone’s life. People who believe wars are based on lies, or elections are preordained, or economy is a vast pyramid scheme to centralize wealth through slavery, or society is operated by aliens lacking humanity are PARANOID. They are marginalized by society, ridiculed, fired, ostracized, rendered, and murdered. It would be crazy to believe in the CONspiracy!
But what if it were true? What if the “people” who control governments, institutions, the world are not people at all, but shambling, unspeakable, inhuman things with a taste for blood and no concept of compassion? What if “reality” was really an elaborate stage show of special effects and everything that is known to history was falsified by those who have special interest in the fascist view of order? To citizens, order means due process, the Bill of Rights, equality under the law, a level playing field upon which they can run and shout when they want to. If the CONspiracy is real, it would be crazy to pay taxes, vote for candidates, buy plastic products, or obey alien orders. Given that context, a SubGenius finding cause against the CONspiracy is the epitome of rationality, enlightened self interest and robust mental health.
Braise “BoB”!
Reverend Doktor C. Sarian
Mid Coast Sub Church of Paranoia
Church of the SubGenius

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